I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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