Ambien. No doubt about it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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