Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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