So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
