My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
