Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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