he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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