It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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