we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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