My balls are so social today.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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