your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just cropdusted the office
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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