My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
