Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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