I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
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Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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