I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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