I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
