i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
