I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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