whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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