You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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