I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize