Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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