Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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