I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I had to cum in my sink.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
