she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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