Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
