There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I AM VODKA MAN
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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