dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
