BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
