She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
