So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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