Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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