You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
