Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
