i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
