I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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