its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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