yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
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To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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