Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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