good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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