I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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