Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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