i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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