just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize