You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
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Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
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No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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