im having a threesome with these popsicles
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
