i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
