I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
