Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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