So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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