i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
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I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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