you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
