Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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