quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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