At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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